REVENGE

ELECTRONIC REVENGE | CHEMICAL REVENGE | BOOKS | OLD SCHOOL

Unlike some of the other companies that you will encounter on the web and elsewhere, Brandon Enterprises likes to think of itself as a well-rounded company with something for everyone. This is true whether you are one of our many friends in the Law Enforcement field, or just someone who has the odds stacked against them. Our primary objective is to help put the odds in YOUR favor. Whatever your mission, whatever your situation, -- WE'VE GOT YOU COVERED!

This section of our virtual store is dedicated to products which give you the power to take back control of your life and put the fear of God into your enemies. As you will soon see, many of these marvels of chemistry and electronics have been adapted from the many gadgets used by intelligence operatives. Others were designed with one specific, yet wonderfully diabolical purpose in mind, GETTING-EVEN...

PLEASE NOTE: Brandon Enterprises does not condone or recommend the use of any of these products to inflict harm, injury, or mental anguish on any third party. These devices are sold strictly for novelty purposes and should not be used without the other persons consent. (Of course your already knew this, right?) Enjoy.

DEVIL DIALER

The Devil Dialer is a unique hi-tech tool for those who require a serious and innovative revenge/harassment capability at their disposal. This device is essentially a special miniaturized telephone which when attached to a phone line continuously dials any number you program every two minutes! Just imagine the possibilities - hundreds of overseas calls and 900 numbers on the marks phone bill, annoying dialing tones constantly interrupting conversations, having Mark #1 "keep calling" "Mark #2" who with Caller ID will easily figure out whose doing it and take the appropriate action, etc. Imagine using this device against to harass two enemies simultaneously. Enemy #1 keeps calling Enemy #2. Enemy #1 files charges on enemy #2. Meanwhile, Enemy #1 keeps receiving irritating hang-up calls from enemy #2 every two minutes! I love it! Meanwhile you're nowhere near either of them. Connects quickly and easily to any phone line with a modular jack. The more innovative the connection location selected, the more difficult to locate it. i.e. an attic, a basement, a new unknown jack, etc. 32-digit dialing capacity. No batteries required. This is hi-tech revenge at it's best! Warning: This device is to be used only in a legal and lawful manner in compliance with all applicable laws and F.C.C. regulations, which should be consulted prior to connection of any equipment to telephone lines. $ 99.00
This item is no longer available.

WRONG NUMBER GENERATOR

This unique device has the potential to drive the nuts, as well as cause a substantial amount of actual inconvenience. What it does is very simple through. It causes calls made from the target phones to reach wrong numbers! Think about how absolutely maddening and frustrating that would be if it were to happen to your phone, and you'll begin to appreciate the devastating effect that this device can have. And, just to toy with their fury and confusion even more, it's engineered to allow about 25% of the calls dialed to go through correctly. (Note: calls to 911 will always go through.) And, as is the case with all of the devices in this section, even once the target realizes that something very weird is going on, they"ll be hard-pressed to stop it; replacing their telephones or even getting a new phone number won't do any good since they would have to locate the actual device and remove it. Installs anywhere along the telephone line; it comes with both a modular plug connector ( to fit in standard telephone jacks) and spade-lugs connectors for installations in unconventional, difficult-to find locations. Size: 3-1/4" x1-1/8" x 3/4". $69.95

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DISCONNECTED NUMBER

Like the device above, this unit prevents the phones from ringing during incoming calls. The target has no idea that someone is calling, and so they'll miss all of their calls. Answering machines, FAX machines and voice messaging also will not activate. Also like the above unit, outgoing dialed calls are completely unaffected and go through normally. But with this unit, instead of getting just unanswered ringing, the caller is diverted to a telephone company disconnect message! ("We're sorry, you have reached a number that has been disconnected or no longer in service".) Just imagine the incredible havoc this could create. The potential consequences of this device being installed on a business telephone line are even more staggering. Installs anywhere along the telephone line; it comers with both a modular plug connector ( to fit in standard telephone jacks) and spade-lugs connector for installations in unconventional, difficult-to-find locations. Size: 3-1/4" x 1-1/8" x 3/4". $79.95

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DEAD RINGER

This device prevents the phone from ringing on incoming calls. The calling party just hears the phone ringing and ringing, but it's never answered since the phones are silent on the targets end. The target has absolutely no idea that someone is calling them. Answerinc machines, Fax manchines, and even voice messaging -- none of these will pick up either. Yet, outgoing calls dialed from the targets phones are completely unaffected and go through normally! The target has absolutely no idea that there's anything wrong, they'll just begin to think that they've suddenly become very unpopular. Nobody calls, nobody leaves messages, etc. If this device happened to be installed on a business line, just image the negative economic consequences! Installs anywhere along the telephone line; it comes complete with both modular plug connector (to fit standard telephone jacks) and a spade lugs connector for installations in unconventional, difficult-to-find locations. Size: 2 1/2" x 1" x 3/4".

$59.95

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MIND MOLESTER

The "Mind Molester" is a unique instrument of creative elevctronic harrassment. It is an electronic chirping device that can drive your victim nuts trying to figure out WHAT the noise is, and WHERE the noise is coming from. You can drive someone crazy in their own home or dirsrupt an entire office. Your victim(s) will become obsessed, awaiting the next chirp to try to determine its location, completely disrupting their normal activities. Simply connect this device to any 9-volt battery and plant it in an appropriate location. The "Mind Molester" produces a one-second electronic chirp every four minutes until the battery finally runs down. Due to the chirp's frequency, duration, and sound characteristics, it's a very, very difficult, time-consuming, frustrating and maddening task to locate the unit. And even if the find ti, they'll still have absolutely no idea whatsoever as to what they've found. Is it a "bug"? Iis it a bomb? Only you know the truth! The places that you can hide this devious little device are limited only by your own imgaination. Chirp Frequency: 2000Hz.

$24.95

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MIND MOLESTER ULTRA

This SpyMall.com exclusive is quite simply our "Mind Molester" on steroids... How so? Instead of only one mode of operation, our all new "Ultra" version offers the user THREE, (3) ingenious modes of operation. Of course, all three modes have been created with one diabolical purpose in mind, -- to annoy and irritate friends, coworkers, or that "special" someone. Select one of the 3 different modes of operation, hide this 2" x 1.5" unit, and wait for the magic to begin. After a sleep mode (timed or random), your house or office, (as well as the neighbors), is treated with a loud 92db beep. As with the original Mind Molester, the sound produced in modes 2 & 3 are just long enough to be heard, but not long enough to determine where exactly the soucnd is coming from. As a matter of fact, depending upon how well you hide this bomb, it could take literally days for your victim to locate this nasty little device. Did we mention this is unit pumps out 92 decibels?

SELECTABLE MODES OF OPERATION:
(1) 10 minute sleep, followed by continuous beep.
(2) 5 minute sleep, then split second beep. Cycle continues until turned off.
(3) Randomly generated sleep mode, then 1 second beep. Continues until turned off.

You will not believe the reactions that you will get when this unit is introduced into someone's environment. Worth every penny... As with all of our "Revenge" items you will not find them in any store. Most, if not all, are a www.SpyMall.com exclusive! Comes complete with detailed instructions.

FEATURES:

2.5KHz Frequency Output

8mhz Microcomputer

92 Decibel Output

Requires (1) 9volt battery (not included).

"This product is no longer available."

"OFF-THE-HOOK" MIND MOLESTER

Just when you thought our electronic revenge selection couldn't get any better, now comes the "OFF-THE-HOOK MIND MOLESTER."

This device is easily planted in an inconspicuous location with one goal in mind….To annoy them! Hide this device well. Your victim will hear his phone off the hook alert tone every so often before shutting down. After time, watch the phone get replaced or watch him call in a service call.

FEATURES:

2 modes of operation.

On board digital micro-computer

9V battery powered

Simulates the sound of your victims phone being off the hook

80dB output

Small package and inexpensive

MODES OF OPERATION:

Mode 1: Random off time, then a burst of "Phone Off Hook Alert Tone". Click here to listen:

Mode 2: 20 minute delay, then a continuous burst of "Phone Off Hook Alert Tone".

User sets the mode depending on a jumper setting as described in the users guide.

"This product is no longer available."

SONIC NAUSEA

Sonic Nausea is a small electronic device which can really turn one's stomach. It generates a unique combination of ultra-high frequency soundwaves which soon leads to most in its vicinity to queasiness. It can also cause headaches, intense irritation, sweatn, imbalance, nausea, or even vomiting. Hiding this device in your inconsiderate neighbors house might put an end to their late-night parties. Perfect for an abusive bureaucrat's office, the executive lunchroom, or for use on other office vermin...the posibilities are endless for that small portion of inventive payback. ^The unique soundwave characteristics make directional source determination difficult. Powered by one 9-volt battery (not included). For extended run times, six AA batteries in a battery pack with transistor clips (available at most electronic stores) can be used instead. Use with discretion.

$39.95

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SUPER SONIC NAUSEA

This "industrial strength" version of the Sonic Nausea is now available for non-government sales for the first time. It provides serious, substantial capability to disrupt and disperse gatherings. Speeches, demonstrations. crowd dynamics - this device has been used to "influence" more of these in recent years than you might suspect. Or, if planted near the podium, you might just have a case of a speaker with diminished clarity and concentration, or perhaps is even unable to complete his presentation "due to illness". This "illness" might even be contagious, as some of the VIPs up there with him also seemed to have caught the same bug. Powered by eight AA batteries (not included). Size: 7-3/4" X 4-1/2" X 2-3/4". Use only with extreme discretion.
$99.00

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"SPECIAL INGREDIENTS"

The boys in the lab are truly wicked. While we are featuring these special ingredients in the Revenge section of our website, many of these formulas were actually manufactured under contract by DSG Laboratories to fulfill various "unusual operational requirements" of the CIA and other federal agencies. Because these products are now available for non-governmental sale we had a feeling that you could probably put a few of these to use in some "unusual" field operations of your own... Use with the utmost descretion.

PURPLE RAIN

This is the latest offering from our boys in the lab. "Purple Rain" starts out as an innocent-looking dark green powder which can be sprinkled just about anywhere. Needless to say, looks are deceiving... As soon as this innocent green powder comes into contact with water or moisture of any type, LOOK OUT! The powder amazingly appears to produce a seemingly endless supply of dark purple STAIN. Sprinkle in strategjc places throughout the bathroom, locker room, pool, door mat, carpet, entrances, drinking fountain, etc. Caution: This product will stain just about anything, -- use only with extreme caution and discretion. $12.95

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STINK BOMB

Just as the name implies, this stuff S T I N K S! If you desire to leave a message that will last for days, this is it. Particularly effective when applied to vehicles and targets in hotter climates. May be applied in vehicles, furniture, offices, rooms, etc. $9.95

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GREEN GAS

Empty this little vial of magic into a hot drink or food, wait about 10 minutes, then stand back. The natural herb contained in this potent elixir causes major, and uncontrollable "natural gas" eruptions to emanate from your mark. No matter how hard your mark ties to hold back, there's no stopping these embarrassing eruptions. A perfect way to give the arrogant a lesson in humility, -- especially when applied at a serious social setting. Warning: Not to be used on others without their consent. $9.95

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VOMIT FLUID

Empty the contents of this nasty little vial into any drink or beverage. Within minutes the victim begins to experience queasiness followed by projectile vomiting. Very effective. Use only with extreme discretion. Warning: Not to be used on others without their consent. $9.95


HELLFIRE & BRIMSTONE

Have you ever wondered what it would feel like to be attacked by a swarm of fire ants? Now you can find out and so can your mark! The contents inside this vial cause itching, stinging, & burning. The only good news is that the pain eventually stops. FOR EXTERNAL USE ONLY. Warning: Not to be used on others without their consent. $9.95

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EVACUATOR

The "Evacuator" is made from a unique natural bark which is then ground into a fine powder. When mixed into a marks food or drink, the active ingredient will cause total, uncontrollable, "evacuation" via the natural route. (The term "Evacuation" means that this chemical causes the victims bowels to purge or empty...) Stand CLEAR! Warning: Not to be used on others without their consent. $12.95

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NASTY YELLOW TEETH

Did you ever wish you could do something that would remind your victim of you, or what they did, every time that they looked in the mirror? Now you have the tool to do just that! Simply pour the contents of this vial into the marks drink (soda, coffee, etc.) Once the target finishes the drink, his or her mouth, tongue, and teeth will have turned a stomach turning, puke yellow color! And the best part is that he or she will not even know it, that is until they see the horrified looks on the faces of the people that they try to talk to! Effects can last several hours to several days. The possibilities are endless. You have got to try some of this stuff! $9.95

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LOCK-OUT DROPS

If you have ever tried to apply Super Glue to a lock mechanism you probably know that the effects are less than effective. Our special formula on the other hand is 100% effective. The adhesive is packaged in a single-dose, mini syringe applicator. Simply inject the contents of the syringe into any lock and it is permanently rendered inoperable. Car locks, house locks, padlocks, etc., one squirt and they're finished. Deploy only with extreme discretion. $12.95

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UN-NATURAL GAS

This quiet, non-descript little can fits in the palm of your hand. Just move in from behind your mark and give his clothing a three-second burst from up to a foot away. After a couple of minutes delay, the clinging spray will begin to react with the air and reach it's full potency. No matter how hard he tries to fan the smell away, everyone around him will think that something crawled up inside him and died! Stand back and watch the space between him and everyone else grow. Not shippable by Air. $9.95

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LIQUID ROADKILL

Before you use this incredibly foul putrifier, take a moment to reflect on all the roadkill left out in the scorching sun. With this nice little vial, you now have the ability to creatively re-create this special odor at the time and place of your choosing. $9.95

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LIQUID NIGHTMARE (THE BLOB I)

When our amazing Liquid Nightmare meets up with a liquid, it takes on a life of its own! It quickly begins to convert the host liquid into a mass of sticky blob-like gel material. The potential uses are limited only by your imagination and deviancy, but keep the cap on tight because these nasty little crystals can lead to everything from very sticky plumbing situations to distressed goldfish owners. Works on water-base liquids only. $9.95

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THE BLOB II


The BLOB is similar to Liquid Nightmare, except that it works on Petroleum-based liquids, such as gasoline or oil. Warning: Keep this stuff away from your gas tank or engine oil unless you plan on walking... $12.95

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SNEEZING POWDER

You can get satisfaction without messy face-to-face confrontations by deploying this sneezing powder. Dust your mark's office, car, or Kleenex with this powder. As soon as he starts moving around the powder goes airborne and the effects begin. $9.95

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BLOOD CAPSULES

There are hundreds of potential uses for these movie-quality capsules. The simple fact is that nobody wants contact with blood today. Simply pop a capsule in your mouth and begin the appropriate scenario. Excellent for use in undercover operations for establishing the credibility of an operative via staged conflict, etc. $9.95

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BODY BAG PARTS

This foul, putrified stuff smells like rotten body bag parts. It even looks like it, with tiny bits of actual tissue floating around in it. It's disgusting aroma, when applied in an appropriate scenario, might just make a deserving recipient re-evaluate how he treats his fellow citizens. $12.95
This item is no longer available.

LIQUID KEY-SCRATCH

The name says is all. The active ingredient packaged in this mini-syringe applicator has an insatiable appetite for automobile paint. It eats everything it touches, right down to the bare metal! Once it hits bottom it begins to spread looking for, and devouring even more paint! Use only with extreme discretion. $12.95

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REVENGE KIT
This fantastic kit is one of our hottest selling items. Packed with SEVEN of our famous "special ingredients," this kit gives you the power to Get-Even with ANYONE! Take care of jerks at the office, bar, night club, ex-boyfriends, ex-wives, the arrogant, and the deserving. Vomit fluid, Sneezing powder, Green Gas, Evacuator, Liquid Key Scratch, etc. these are just a few of your many choices. You may pick and choose the items that you want in your kit. For maximum effect, use one of these special ingredients at a special engagement, meeting, or function where your mark is sure to be seen by everyone! The possibilities are endless. Teach them a lesson they will never forget! For more specific information on each chemical, please see our list of "Special Ingredients." Each chemical comes sealed in a single dose medical vial.
Warning: These chemicals should not be used on someone without their consent. $69.95

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NOTE: Each of our "Special Ingredients" except for the "Un-Natural Gas" comes packaged in a sterile, sealed, single-dose-application medical vial.



THE ULTIMATE REVENGE KIT

Revenge can truly be sweet, -- especially if you have a fully equipped bag of tricks ready to deploy at a moments notice. This special kit offers you one of each of our unique revenge chemicals, (15-in-all) in a special padded, lockable, hard carry case. Chemicals included: Nasty Yellow Teeth, Hellfire & Brimstone, Un-Natural Gas, Evacuator, Sneezing Powder, Green Gas, Lock-Out Drops, Liquid Key Scratch, Vomit Fluid, Liquid Nightmare, The Blob, Stink Bomb, Liquid Roadkill, Blood Capsules, & Purple Rain. Purchased separately, the items contained in this kit would cost you over $175.00!!!

Warning: These chemicals should not be used on someone without their consent.

$139.95
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DISAPPEARING INK

Definately an "Oldie but Goodie". This unique ink squirts on the victims clean white shirt in BLUE. However, just as quickly as the shocked look on their face appeared the blue ink mysteriously DISAPPEARS much to the total amazement of friends, co-workers, and on-lookers alike! Each bottle contains 1 full oz of ink.

$4.95

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DISAPPEARING "BLOOD"

This stuff works exactly the same as our "Disappearink Ink" listed above however this liquid squirts on RED! Disappears INSTANTLY leaving your victim shocked and relieved at the same time. A new Classic. 1oz bottle, carded.

$4.95

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DOO DROPS

Just when you thought we couldn't think of anything else, now comes our new "Doo Drops". This stuff has the same consistency, color, and smell of the real diarrhea! Nothing that we can tell you about this special ingredient will make you fully comprehend just how offensive this stuff is. You simply have to smell it to believe it. This is NASTY STUFF!!! Comes in a handy dropper-top squeeze dispenser for rapid deployment. All-natural.

$12.95

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GELL-O

Who says you have to know magic to create a few miracles of your own? This amazing powder can turn virtually any liquid into a thick jelly within SECONDS! Once the drink is gelled, the cup can be turned completely upside down, -- and nothing will come out. Great for Bars and other establishments where people may be intoxicated. Ingredients: Non-toxic high polymer. Do not eat.

$9.95

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BOGUS BEER

There's nothing worse than an obnoxious drunk, -- even if he is a freind... So how do you put one over on your favorite beer lover? You use our new "Bogus Beer". Simply pour this powder into a glass of water and voila! Instant beer. Well, not exactly. While it looks like beer, foams like beer, it tastes like *&@!!! While only the good Lord can turn water into wine, you can now turn water into beer!

$9.95

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BOMB BAGS

Squeeze the hidden packet inside one of our bomb bags and it instantly begins to SELF-INFLATE. Throw it quickly in the direction of your mark and within 3-5seconds it will EXPLODE. 100% SAFE. (Does not use fire or flame.) Simple, fun, inexpensive and safe and a huge hit for children and adults alike.

$2.00

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"FART" BOMB BAGS

Squeeze the hidden packet inside one of our bomb bags and it instantly begins to inflate itself. Throw it quickly in the direction of your mark and within 3-5seconds it will EXPLODE, emitting a foul odor for several minutes. 100% SAFE. (Does not use fire or flame.) These are similar to the "Bomb Bags", but these however have a smell, in addition to the "bang."

$2.00

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BOOKS

HI-TECH HARRASSMENT
(HOW TO GET EVEN WITH ANYBODY ANYTIME )

Hi-Tech harrassment is the ultimate boodk offering high-tech solutions for getting even with your deserving target. Even the most creative will find many new great ideas in this unique collection of schemes. "For entertainment purposes only," of course. (1990, 164 pages.)
$29.95
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ENCYCLOPEDIA OF REVENGE
If your tired of being dumped upon, now you can fight back, be it against the neighborhood bully or a corporate giant. This encyclopedia of revenge lists over 1100 revenge ideas, cross-referenced by subject. It's a verifiable plethora of revenge ideas, -- all in a single volume! Don't get mad, --get even.
$19.95

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VENGENCE IS MINE
This book is a collection of humurous stories about what some people have done to deal with those who deserve to be dealt with. Obnoxious neighbors, browbeating bosses, unscrupulous taxi drivers, rude waiters, and many others are out there, just waiting for their payback from those who know how. Each chapter includes the spep-by-step mehtods used. Just plug in your own set of circumstances, add a dash of imagination, and vengance shall be yours. Warning: Contains strong language and is irreverent as hell. For entertainment purposes only. (1995, 180 pages)
$9.95 "This item is no longer available."

"OLD SCHOOL"



 

REMOTE CONTROLLED FART MACHINE

A fart machine you say? Oh Yeah! If your objective is not so much revenge as it is pure, gut-busting laughter, this is the device for you. We hid this device under a chair in the break room and waited for lunch time. As soon as lunch was in full swing, we activated it from the second floor overlook and almost died laughing at the reactions we got every time we pressed the button on the remote control. We have honestly never laughed so hard. To deploy this beauty simply tape it to the bottom of a chair, turn the unit on, and activate it from up to 50+ feet away with the included Remote Control. This unit produces five, (5) different super realistic fart sounds. This is the unit you've seen on Howard Stern, Jay Leno, and Rosie O'Donnell. The perfect gag for parties, dinners, and stuffy meetings. This is definitely a must have for any prankster. Get yours today and see for yourself why this has been called the "The practical joke of the century." Operates on four, (4) AAA Batteries (not included).

$19.95

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THE SHOCKER

Yes, even the best spies have a sense of humor. (We just help them spread the love...) Introducing The Shocker, -- an elegant looking lighter that's anything but innocent! Hand this little beauty to an unsupecting friend who's about to light his cigarette or the person whose always borrowing/stealing your lighter. This time however instead of getting a flame when they press the button, they receive a sharp yet harmless electric shock! This thing is as big a hit in the office as it is in the bar. WARNING: Use at your own risk. Legallity of this product is not assured. Not recommended for children under 14 years old, adults over 50 years old, or any person with any medical condition. (If in doubt, DO NOT PURCHASE THIS ITEM.) Unless you're a former track star, do not use this lighter on someone who is bigger than you...

$19.95

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SHOCK PEN

Since not everyone is a smoker, we've also found a modern version of a true classis, -- The Shock Pen. Things kind of quiet at the office? Someone always stealing your pens? Someone just a little too stiff and stuffy? LITE THEM UP! Simply hand the pen to an unsuspecting work collegue and watch as he goes to jot something down, or sign his name, totally unaware of what is about to happen! Pressing down on the lid of the pen discharges an electric shock into the hand of your victim, strong enough to make him jump! Size: The same as a normal pen. Weight: The same as a normal pen. Operates on one "AAA" battery.

$14.95

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EXPLODING CIGARETTE LOADS

Do you hate cigarette smoke as much as we do? Or, do you just have a favorite smoker that you are dying to try these on??? C'mon, -- we know you do! Trying to get a friend or loved one to quit smoking? Take matters into your own hands. They CAN'T smoke it if it Blows-Up when they light it. They WON'T smoke it if they are afraid it's been rigged by you! Who need "the Patch" anyway? Each pack contains approximately 12-14 loads. Cigarette Loads CANNOT Be Sold OR Shipped Into CALIFORNIA. Please Check All Local Regulations BEFORE Ordering.

$5.99

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GAG LOTTO TICKETS

How do you make a grown man cry? You crush his dream of winning the lotto right in front of his family, friends, or co-workers that's how!!! Everybody secretly fantasizes about winning the lotto be it $10,000 or $10,000,000. The cars, the houses, the jewelery, and yes, -- the toys. If our Chemical Revenge Line seems a little to harsh, and our Electronic Revenge items seems a little too hi-tech for you, -- there is always the "low tech" approach. Our new Bogus Winning Lotto Tickets are just the ticket for an innocent prank on a friend or co-worker. These authentic looking Gag Lotto "Scratch Off" tickets have the look and feel of Real Lottery Tickets tickets which are sold in convenience stores around the country. Of course, with our tickets EVERY ticket is a WINNER and a LOSER... When your mark scratches off the front of the ticket, they will be floored to see that they have just won $10,000 or MORE! They will scream, shout, laugh and ultimately cry when they finally realize that they have been had. These tickets are best used when "mixed-in" with a couple of REAL lotto scratchers from your area. (Your mark will think that the bogus ticket is a new game.) You have got to get a couple of these. The reactions of the victims and the observers is worth every penny!

$2.50 each.

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PARKING TICKETS

You work hard to afford a nice car. You clean it, maintain it, and carefully park it way out in the parking lot to keep it safe from shopping carts, careless people who let their car doors swing open, and the various idiots who simply can't drive. Of course, when you go back to your car you quickly realize that some idiot has parked just inches from your door, or has blocked you in. While you are squeezing in from the passengers side, you are likely thinking of a few choice things that you wish you could tell the owner of the other car. NOW YOU CAN! No need to search for a pen, no need to write a long message, just tear one of our tickets off and place it under their windshield wiper blade. If you really want to give them a message they won't soon forget, simply peel off the adhesive backing and stick it to their windshield. They will definitely be thinking about what they did while they are scratching the "ticket" off their windshield with their finger nail or razor blade. Packaged in a set of 25.

$14.95

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Dear Asshole.

Thank you for parking so fucking close to me. It gave me a chance to see up close and personal what a piece of shit like you drives. Next time that you park this close to someone be sure to leave a can opener so that they can cut their way out of the fucking car. Assholes like you should either learn how to park or ride the fucking bus! Fortunately for you I was in a hurry or I would have delivered this message to you in person.

If you feel that you have been issued this citation unjustly, please feel free to call my supervisor at 1 (800) FUCK YOU!

Have a nice day Asshole.

 

HANDICAP PARKING SPACE VIOLATORS

You see them all the time. In supermarket parking lots, at the mall, at restaurants, at sporting events, HANDICAP PARKING SPACE VIOLATORS! You can see that they are not physically challenged because you watched their lazy ass jump out of the car and run into the store. These scum are just too dam lazy to park where they are supposed to. Now you can send theses losers a message and let them know that people are watching their lazy ass. No need to search for a pen, no need to write a long message, just tear one of our tickets off and place it under their windshield wiper blade. If you really want to give them a message they won't soon forget, simply peel off the adhesive backing and stick it to their windshield. They will definitely be thinking about what they did while they are scratching the "ticket" off their windshield with their finger nail or razor blade. Packaged in a set of 25.

$14.95

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Dear Asshole,

I know that you can read because you just parked in a space with a sign marked "handicapped." Unfortunately you are obviously too stupid, or too lazy to realize that "handicapped" does not mean MENTALLY HANDICAPPED. This means that YOU are not allowed to park here!

I saw your lazy ass walking away from your car without the use of a wheelchair, walker, cane or crutches. You are a lazy, sleazy, worthless piece of shit who is depriving people who legitimately need this parking space! The next time that I spot you parking in a space designated for disabled persons I will personally run your lazy ass over thereby ensuring that you can legitimately use this type of parking space.

EVERY TIME THAT YOU PARK IN A SPACE DESIGNATED FOR THE PHYSCIALLY CHALLENGED, REMEMBER ME. IT'S JUST A MATTER OF TIME BEFORE I, OR SOMEONE ELSE, CATCHES UP TO YOU.

I have already taken your license plate down and will be reporting you to the Police Department.

LICENSE PLATE NUMBER: _______________

YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF YOU LAZY FUCKING ASSHOLE!!!

The MILLION DOLLAR BILL

Who says you have to win the lotto to be an instant millionaire? This is a high quality lady liberty series Million Dollar Bill, with the same dimensions as REAL US currency for that added effect. Drop one of these in with your weekly bank deposit, or try getting change at McDonald's. These are a hit with jokers & collectors alike. Over one million uses and counting. (Set of 6.)

$5.00

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MAGNETIC BULLET HOLES

Everyone needs a good laugh every once in a while. These very realistic looking magnetic bullet holes are sure to cause a stir. They can instantly adhere to any clean metal surface. No adhesive is needed. The authentic gray coloring looks like a vehicle's paint has been blasted down to the primer. Made of flexible rubber ferrite, these completely re-useable bullet holes can be applied or removed instantly. They are weatherproof and remain securely in place even on a vehicle at high speeds. They are effective on any color paint and will not harm the surface. Position with darker shading on upper portion. You will not believe the reactions of people when they are walking up to their car and spot the bullet holes! Put a few on your own car and watch the strange looks that you get from the people sitting next to you at the intersection. Let the fun begin. Sold in sets of 6 bullet holes.      $9.95
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Brandon Enterprises SHOWROOM & BUSINESS OFFICES
1717 Montana Ave.
El Paso, Texas 79902 U.S.A.
Voice Line: (915) 533-5746
FAX: (915) 532-5687
email:spygear@spymall.com
www.SpyMall.com

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